It took 20 years for Cameron Diaz to get naked on film after she started acting.
She made a big deal of it when the moment came, but it was a severe disappointment, as Diaz ended up stripping for the crapocalyse that was Sex Tape.
But in February 1999, aged 26 and flush with success from her role in The Mask, she happily stripped and went for a swim with Loaded, making it her only ever topless magazine shoot.
As well as going full-frontal, the stories Diaz told about nearly dying after a night on the sake and gun-play weren’t bad.
The Golden Girl by John Perry, February 1999
Sploosh. Stroke, stroke, breathe. Ooh, you can’t beat a bracing morning dip in the municipal baths, can you? Up with the lark, pull on your skin-tight Speedos (with contrast piping, mock-belt and anchor motif) and plunge into the restorative waters of the local open-air lido.
Watched only by Mr Bushy the squirrel and the odd bent copper, you’re free to plough gaily through the placid waters to your heart’s content. Apart from Wednesdays of course, when the council does a special rate for celebrities.
When glistening Californian movie goddess Cameron Diaz, star of The Mask, There’s Something About Mary and comedy thriller Very Bad Things, turned up in the shallow end of the pool, I got an eyeful of her impressive doggy paddle.
“GOOD CHRIST WOMAN!” I spluttered, “You’re not wearing any pants!”
Bundling her up in a towel, I frog-marched her into the changing rooms and gave her a good rub-down over a Bovril and a bag of Wotsits. It’s a relatively dirty job, but someone’s got to do it.
So squidge the chlorine out of your ears and listen up as Cameron spurts about booze, breasts, bullets and broken noses.
Bit nippy
Loaded
You’ve just split up with Matt Dillon, your partner of three years. I have to say, you don’t look too heartbroken to us.
Cameron Diaz
I have every reason to be happy. There’s Something About Mary is a huge hit and I’m really pleased with my new film Very Bad Things. And suddenly I’m being offered all kinds of roles with top notch directors and stars. It’s very strange, but a very nice position to be in.
L Talking of strange positions, when you starred alongside Matt in There’s Something About Mary, he put on weight and wore false teeth. Did you still fancy him?
C Yeah! He would kid around between scenes like, ‘Come here baby, give me a kiss!’ And I was like, ‘Please just stay away from me!’ But the weird thing is, even with the teeth and the moustache and the extra weight and the ugly clothes, I still found him incredibly sexy.
L It’s not surprising he still tried to get his mucky paws on you – in the film you’re cast as ‘the ideal girl’.
C Yes, I’m every man’s dream girl – the girl who eats everything, who doesn’t shop, who drinks beer, plays golf and shares all the same interests as her boyfriend.
L Are you like that in real life?
C I don’t like golf. I would probably kill people if I had to play golf. But I do like beer, basketball and football.
Don’t say breaststroke
L According to Mary director Bobby Farrelly, you drink “like a sailor”. Has it ever landed you in sticky situations?
C Yeah, it nearly killed me. I was on a beach drinking champagne and vodka. Then at night I had sake at a Japanese restaurant. They gave me this 30-year-old sake that nobody can drink, but I did it in one shot. The next day, I felt like I was dying. I called my mom and asked her to bring my body home if I died.
L That’s my fantasy about waking up next to you ruined then. But do you consider yourself beautiful?
C No, I never did. I’ve got a nose that’s been broken three times and as a teenager I was so skinny at school that they nicknamed me Skeletor.
“I did 30-year-old sake in one shot. The next day I called my mom and asked her to bring my body home if I died”
L How about plastic surgery? Is there any part of you you’ve ever fancied changing? I’ve got a mate who’d do it for you for a pony, no questions asked.
C There’s no way I’d want to do it because the ‘in’ look changes constantly. Four years ago, big boobs were in. Now nobody gives a shit what size your tits are. So, why should you change yourself to please the masses?
L Hang on – you had massive tits in The Mask?
C It wasn’t me. I had three inches of padding. I kept saying, ‘Do they jiggle?’ because if they jiggle, they look real.
L Woof. So did you get loads of film offers after that?
C Only cheesy titty roles like ‘the beautiful Russian doctor’ in foreign films. I decided to wait for a role that could show people I could do other things.
L Weren’t you supposed to be doing Mortal Kombat?
C Yeah, but I broke my hand rehearsing the kick-boxing. I hit my trainer in the head. He had a frigging skull like a rock and my hand was destroyed. I couldn’t do the film after that.
R&R
L Bloody hell. In Very Bad Things you crack Christian Slater over the head with a lampshade. Is this a psychopathic urge or is it some sort of bizarre method acting? And did you get, umm, touchy-feely with Keanu Reeves when you played a stripper opposite him in Feeling Minnesota?
C No, Keanu’s the oddest person I’ve ever met. He’s incredibly intelligent and well-read and he likes to talk about philosophy. I love him, but I worry about him taking care of himself. He’s like a child.
L And how did you get on with Ewan McGregor when you played his romantic interest in A Life Less Ordinary?
C We immediately just fitted. We went straight into a dance rehearsal for four days so we got very close very fast.
There was something about Cameron
L In A Life Less Ordinary, you go around shooting things indiscriminately. Apparently you showed Ewan how to shoot his big gun… I bet you’ve done that before.
C I had! On Christmas night, Matt and I went to a gun ranch. We just wanted to have a bit of fun, but then saw all these other guys shooting on their own and I got real sad. I have total respect for guns.
L After all the shagging, car crashes and gunshot wounds of A Life Less Ordinary, you took 10 months off, reportedly ‘to relax’. What exactly do you do to relax?
C I lie on my bed!
“If you want to torture me strap me to a chair and put Mariah Carey on, over and over again. That would be eternal hell for me”
L You lay in your pit for 10 months? Respect! And is it true you don’t own a television and don’t read newspapers?
C Oh yes, I cut myself off from all that two years ago. I got so upset by the news, I felt there was no hope in the world anymore, and the whole world was sick. I hated feeling so negative and out of control.
L You’re a nutter, aren’t you? I’ll bet you’re a big Sepultura fan aren’t you?
C Yeah, heavy metal! Anything softer than Alice In Chains makes my skin crawl. If you really want to torture me, sit me in a room strapped to a chair and put Mariah Carey on, over and over again. That would be eternal hell for me.
L Enough of this trumpery, let’s get you dried off…
Lights, Cameron, Action!